Let's get this out of the way. Mark Burnett is a TV slut and will do anything for ratings. But there's TV and then there's TV. To put it all in perspective:

)Jenna M. is an only child
b)Her mother is on her deathbed suffering from cancer
c)JENNA M. HAS ALREADY WON $1 MILLION

She never should have come onto the show. It was a mistake. She admitted that. At least she came to the decision herself and made it home in time to be with her mother. That's better than finding out your mom is dead through treemail or even worse at a challenge -- "Everyone whose mother is alive take one step forward -- not so fast Jenna!"

However, instead of the producers letting her leave the show with some dignity, they make her appear at the Immunity Challenge where she is judged by such icons of character as Big Tom, Dick Buttblur and a very disappointing Rupert ("It's still quitting!"). They keep at her until she cries and then the camera mercilessly follows her as she sails off into the distance. It's stuff like this that makes me want to turn in my Reality TV Membership card.

Anyway, the result is that Jenna M. left, there was no Immunity Challenge and no Tribal Council.

Now, on to the rest of the show...

Have you ever had one of those nights where a quandary keeps circling around your brain? You toss and turn, puzzling and wondering. Here's what's been keeping me up at night: If Dick Buttblur loses weight and becomes smaller, does his blur also become smaller, or does it become larger in proportion until he's just a walking smudge on the screen? What scares me the most is that I was thinking about this stuff. I mean, WTF?

You know, from last week's teaser, I was prepared for Dick Buttblur to end up as shark bait. What can you expect when you're dangling your worm in the water? Alas, it was the shark I should have been concerned about. He grabs the poor fish by the tail and in a straight-forward case of self-defense, it latches onto the flab-flap under his arm. Buttblur bites the shark in return. Once again, he becomes the Provider for the tribe, in a 'Lord of the Flies' kind of way. "He's a fishing god!".

Next came our first All-Star Shameless Product Placement moment, brought to you by Home Depot. For the Reward Challenge, each tribe of tools received a box of tools and had to build a shelter to be judged by a Panama licensed contractor, who turned out to be Raffi. I'd wondered what had happened to him.

Rupert, who was really off his game last night, fought to build a shelter involving digging into the beach for a sub-level. Now, I'm no Ty Pennington but even I know not to dig a hole in a beach that's within spitting distance of the ocean, especially during monsoon season.

Raffi showed up with his clipboard, strict building codes (applying to huts made of bamboo and twigs) and a level. As you would have guessed, Chapera won since they have the Robfather who, besides running the Mariano Crime family, also works construction. The reward fell from the sky....pillows, mattresses and wine.

We leave you with the Amber cozying up to the Robfather, after a few gulps of booze. Wasn't the plan that nobody know they had an alliance? Oh well. Can't expect her to remember something so trivial as an alliance. I mean, like, you know, that was like, from the other day, and like, you know, he's so hot!