By JOHN POWELL -- Jam! Showbiz

Snarky 'Survivor' host Jeff Probst said it best after last night's bloodletting at Tribal Council. With five great liars left, it should make for a very interesting finish to the 'Pearl Islands' series. Even a virtual mute has gotten into the act. In her breakout episode, Darrah 'Dr. Death' Johnson - the 22-year-old mortician/funeral director from Mississippi - who has barely uttered more than five sentences on each broadcast, finally opened her mouth and spoke the wrong words in the right ears. In doing so, 'Dr. Death' made sure that Christie 'Big Bird' Hastie's wings would be clipped.

Before Tribal Council, Hastie and her alliance partner in the game - Sandra Diaz-Twine - were swerved by Johnson into believing that Scout leader Lillian Morris was next on the chopping block. In reality, Hastie, a surviving member of the Drake Tribe's core alliance, was the lamb being led to the slaughter. Hastie's mistakes in the game were trusting Jon, riding on Sandra and Rupert's coat-tails and not bothering to formulate new alliances when the tribal politics shifted. Her last minute plotting with Burton was a case of too little, too late.

Though Hastie stole the spotlight last week after being falsely accused of seeking revenge for Rupert's eviction by dumping the tribe's fish, her most memorable moments on the series never saw the light of day on television. Hastie's mock wedding to a tree presided over by Jon Dalton and accusations that she ate more than her fair share of oranges after the merger were only broadcast on the Internet as part of CBS' 'Survivor Insider' subscription video package. We are guessing that footage is being saved for the 'Survivor: Pearl Islands' DVD box set.

The remaining Survivors at the start of the broadcast were:

Balboa Tribe
1. JON DALTON: Art Consultant.
2. SANDRA DIAZ-TWINE: Office Assistant.
3. CHRISTA HASTIE: Computer Programmer.
4.DARRAH JOHNSON: Mortician.
5.LILLIAN MORRIS: Scout Troop Leader.
6.BURTON ROBERTS: Marketing Executive.

Balboa Tribal Happenings (Day 31)

Even though Jonnie Fairplay has lied to them again and again, Christa can't believe she was suckered into voting for Tijuana at Tribal Council by him. Christa isn't sure she can trust Jon's promise to being her and Sandra into the final four. Talk about being dumber than a bag of dead squirrels. Double-duh.

Jon reminds us that promises are like fat women and wicker furniture. They were meant to be broken by Jonnie Fairplay. Fairplay's already recycling his own material? I shouldn't be surprised. His Tribal Council rants are nothing more than catch phrases stolen from legendary pro-wrestlers. What Fairplay should keep in mind though is that he can beat the others if he can but will only survive if they let him. If you smell what the Powell is cooking. Wooo!

The 'Pearl Islands' women are finally buying a clue. Sandra and Christa figure if the testosterone-challenged players get together, they can eliminate the goofy guys. Too bad that they didn't run that play when Tijuana was still around, eh? Sandra forges ahead with the plan and invites Darrah to gather some firewood. When they are deep in the jungle, Sandra says to Darrah "I want the guys to go." Darrah seems to agree. The way Sandra figures it, they can slam dunk Burton and then Jon. Sandra doesn't feel like Jon is a real threat. He's kinda like a girl at the challenges. Ouch!

Taking her cue from Vecepia, "Dr. Death" tells us that she's gonna just sit back, let everyone approach her and take the deal that will best advance her position in the game.

While we are on the topic of recycling...the producers cue the 'Jaws' theme (or their rendition of it) as Burton spears a sting-ray and carries the creature back to camp. Jon reads the challenge sea mail. Sandra is stressed. Whenever she hears the words "wet" or "water" she knows the pain is coming.

Reward Challenge

It is a water obstacle course involving a balance beam, retrieving oars and paddling a boat to the finish line. The tribe will compete in two teams of three. The randomly drawn teams are Burton, Sandra and Christa versus Darrah, Jon and Lillian.

Reward

For the winners, a day at a spa and the swim suits they brought to 'Survivor'.

Result

Sandra has to swim the most for her team. She tries real hard but it is just not enough. She cannot give her team any sort of valuable lead. Burton is literally tearing his hair out in frustration. Too bad, so sad.

Winners: Darrah, Jon and Lillian.

The winners are immediately shuttled away by boat after the challenge is completed.

Survivor Spa Happenings (Day 31)

The boat takes Lill, Darrah and Jon to a plane. As they fly overheard, they buzz the Balboa camp below. The three amigos land at a luxurious beach house with a large swimming pool. The first thing the women do is look in the bathroom mirrors and are completely shocked by the living dead staring back at them. Darrah can't believe she has lost so much weight. Lillian doesn't even recognize herself. Jon is so looking forward to "healing" his "war wounds" and getting the chance to sink his claws into Lill and Darrah.

Lillian and Darrah get massages and facials outside. Lillian says they will have to use a whole cucumber on her face not just a few slices if they want to help her out. No arguments there. Jon says that the Pearl Islands are great but the food at camp sucks as do some of his tribemates. The spa is just like paradise and he doesn't want to go home. As they lay out in the sun, Darrah speaks again. Man, is this getting to be a disturbing trend or what? She feels sorry for Burton today. Probably because he has to spend the day with those rays of sunshine...Sandra and Christa.

Balboa Tribal Happenings (Day 31)

Speaking of Burton...he's hard at work flapping his gums too much and filleting a fish. Sandra presses Burton on whether Lillian and Darrah are being torpedoed next. Burton is evasive. He hasn't spoken to Jon yet so is not sure what the plan is. Burton tells us that his strategy is to paint Jon as the mastermind so that he will win the final Tribal Council vote. Sandra doesn't like the answers Burton is giving. He can't promise her or Christa that they will finish third or fourth. Mega foreshadowing here with Sandra promising to vote Burton out as soon as she can. Burton states the obvious...everyone is lying to everyone.

Christa says that in speaking to Burton, she now sees the light. It is every man for themselves and they are here to play a game. It's not a bad revelation considering there are only nine days left. Yep. Nothing gets by Christa. How she managed to fill out the application form in the first place is mystery not even Hercule Poirot would attempt to tackle.

Survivor Spa Happenings (Day 31)

Darrah, Lillian and Jon don some silk pajamas and sit down to order dinner. Lillian is about to order clams as an appetizer. Seeing the error of her ways, Jon steps in and orders for everyone. Darrah and Lillian agree that they love it when a man takes charge. Lillian informs Jon about Sandra and Christa's plot to take him and Burton out. Jon promises on his grandmother's grave to take Lillian and Darrah into the final four. Lillian: "Don't do that. She is looking down on you." Jon tells Lill and Darrah that his...weep...Grandmother's last wish was...weep...weep...that he should win the game. Strategizing after dinner, Lill feels that Jon is talking down to her. She splits and goes to bed. Jon hurt her feelings.

Balboa Tribal Happenings (Day 32)

Christa and Burton are off digging for mussels. Burton wants to know what kind of concessions Christa would make to move further ahead. Burton asks if Christa would write Sandra's name down at Tribal Council. Christa would. No problems there. Christa runs down Darrah. She used to be a cheerleader and therefore could be a threat during the final challenges. Christa says that is wouldn't be anything personal if she stabbed Sandra in the back. It is just a game.

Survivor Spa Happenings (Day 32)

Jon picks Darrah's brain at breakfast while Lill is in the shower. He offers her a place in the final two with him. She signs off on that deal. Jon: "This conversation never took place." Jon tells us he is playing off of Darrah's greed. Darrah says she knows Jon is a liar and a snake but she believes he will make good on his promise to her.

Balboa Tribal Happenings (Day 32)

Lillian, Darrah and Jon return to camp. They are greeted by Sandra who wants to know all the details. Secretly, Sandra is glad the reward is over for them. She admits to being jealous. Lill wants to play down their experience but Jonnie Fairplay reveals all about the accommodations and the food. Jon: "We ate for like four hours."

Jon and Burton have a much needed chat. Jon informs Burton that everything is set with Darrah. Burton: "Who is next?". Jon is positive Christa should be made to swim with the fishes. Burton isn't sure. Jon accuses Burton of flip-flopping on their plan. Burton finally relents. Big Bird is toast. Burton reveals that he is Jon are playing "good cop" - "bad cop" with the others. Burton is well on his way to making Jon out to be the root of everyone's eviction.

Balboa Tribal Happenings (Night 32)

Lill and Burton can't sleep. They decide to talk. Lillian asks Burton if he is still committed to having him and her as the final two. Burton doesn't know. He refuses to plot that far ahead. Lill wonders if Burton is having "second thoughts". Lillian promises Burton that she will never screw him over. Lillian tells us that Burton has basically hung her out to dry and there is nothing she can do about it. She has to win Immunity and then turn her back on him.

Immunity Challenge

It is a shooting range with muskets. They take turns firing in groups of three. Each Survivor has three targets. First person to shoot all their targets wins.

Reward

Immunity from Tribal Council.

Result

Christa hasn't ever fired a gun before so Probst steps in to show her how. Christa nails her first target. Later on, Christa has the chance to wrap up the game but her shot bounces off another target. Close call.

Winner: Darrah.

Balboa Pre-Tribal Council Happenings (Day 31)

Christa moans about not winning Immunity. She always comes close but never takes the scabbard home. Bummer. Sandra doesn't want Christa to worry. They turned the tables once before and they will do it again. The testosterone-challenged alliance idea forms again in their thick heads. Sandra and Christa ask Darrah if she will join them in voting out Burton. She won't. She suggests Lillian instead. Christa and Sandra are fine with that. Speaking with Lillian alone, Jon convinces her that Christa said she wants Lillian and Darrah out next. Lillian buys everything Jonnie Fairplay is selling. Jon tells us that there are some real "naive" people in the game. Christa: "Trust is nothing. Everyone has lied and lied well."

Tribal Council Happenings

Jon views this part of the game as being hopeful. Everyone hopes their alliances will pan out. Everyone hopes that their alliance partners are telling the truth. Burton believes that Survivor is like any other game. You have to lie and fake out your opponents to win. Christa admits to lying a "few times". Sandra thinks that Lill would win at the final Tribal Council because everyone likes her. Lill hopes that the jury vote will not be a popularity contest. Christa thinks the other players should keep her and vote someone else out. She rubbed many people the wrong way and that might benefit the person sitting next to her at the final Tribal Council. Probst asks everyone if they are all confident in their alliances. Everyone is. Probst cracks that everyone trusts everybody but he finds it odd that nobody knows what the Tribal Council vote will be.

Jon votes for Christa and does an impression of Ric Flair using the "best thing going today" catch phrase. Christa picks Lill. She hopes everyone else is doing the same. Sandra writes down Lill's name. She is a wonderful lady but Sandra doesn't think she would win against her at the final Tribal Council.

Final Voting

1. JON DALTON: Christa.
2. SANDRA DIAZ-TWINE: Lillian.
3. CHRISTA HASTIE: Lillian.
4 DARRAH JOHNSON: Christa.
5 LILLIAN MORRIS: Christa.
6 BURTON ROBERTS: Christa.

Tribal Council Victim: CHRISTA HASTIE.

Parting Comments

"I wasn't quite expecting to get voted off today. It really surprises me to see how everybody out here fooled me at every moment of this entire game but I have made a really great friend in Sandra and Rupert. Both of them of them have kept me happy this whole entire time. It has been an adventure of a lifetime. " -- CHRISTA HASTIE.

Powell's Thoughts:

On the next 'Survivor', the guys are feeling cocky. Burton: "I don't think they (the women) could come up with a decent strategy if they had to. We definitely have an intellectual advantage." The "girls" (Probst's word...not mine) are getting fed up. All of the women are shown relaxing in the hovel. Sandra: "The sooner we get rid of these jackasses, the better." And it all comes to a head. Jon to the women: "I swear, I swear, I swear on my grandmother. Do you guys have a plan or not?"

If you put any stock into Jeff Probst's comment a few weeks ago that the 'Pearl Islands' players who seem to waffle on alliances are summarily set adrift, Burton torched two of his bridges tonight. Though Burton was up front with Lillian in their moonlight conversation, he stupidly gave her an excuse to stab him in the back. Jon must be feeling the same way after Burton voiced his indecision about whether to vote Christa out or not. Burton also turned Sandra against him by not promising her a place in the final four. Burton is unraveling his own strategy it would seem.

While Jon is balancing his alliances quite well, Burton faltered in a major ways. Game-threatening ways, to be precise. With the next episode titled "Mutiny" and the bravado of the males being highlighted - Burton and Jon probably win the Reward Challenge and get carried away - it seems reasonable that Burton will be joining the jury next week leaving Darrah, Jon, Sandra and Lillian as the final four. With a women's alliance in place, Jonnie Fairplay could be left with no room to maneuver...unless his wins Immunity which is doubtful. This would jive with rumours stating that a "bearded man" makes it to the final four but no further and that a "younger" woman and "older" woman are the final two Survivors. The mitigating factor being that the "older" woman was a returning player.

So much for Probst's comment that the "Big Lie" didn't directly affect the game. Ever since Jon fibbed, he has been milking it for all it is worth. Since it is known that nobody in the game found out about the lie until last week's episode aired, it is doubtful that it plays a big part in Jon exiting the game. His performance at the final Tribal Council along with what Rupert and Sandra might have to say, should make the finale fascinating viewing.

Posted by producer at December 5, 2003 08:29 AM