Diagnosis: Fairplay Fever

Jonny Fairplay has followed in the sacred footsteps of Richard Hatch, Brian Heidik and Rob Cesternino. He has a small group of people believing in him and trusting him when he would gladly shove rusted knives randomly in their backs. Ouchie!

One would think that this type of behavior would sicken people and lead them to question whether JFP is the Anti-Christ. Frankly, it turns me on.

Yes that's right, that cocky bastard gets me hot in all the right places. I never realized it until the episode last night seeing him in silk pajamas ordering filet mignon like a gentleman. One could not realize the power of soft fabric and a slab of tender meat.

I think this was the same affinity I had for Rob Cesternino. To most - a goofy dork, to me - a zany, fine sex machine. JFP has an invitation any time to teach me the finer points of bedroom behavior.

Now, in actual Survivor talk, the girls are only now starting to notice that Jon and Burton are running the show? Well, I'd rather them see it a little late than not see it at all. The plan should be to get rid of Burton the immunity threat first and go on from there. And yes I *am* just saying that because I don't like Burton. Not to mention Jonny must be spared. I need my weekly Fairplay fix.

In fact, I intend to go over my VCR tape of the episode where Fairplay gets naked and break out a bottle of wine and a vibrator and have myself a party for one. I'm telling you I haven't been this turned on since Officer Ken and that was a completely vain obsession. This one has substance. It's beyond me why JFP was not called out for All Stars because he and Rupert are the stars of this show.

I will stop talking about Jonny for now and simply go fantasize about him. Tune in next week where I go over in detail what I want to do to JFP when I get my hands on him.