Andrew Savage, the 40-year-old attorney from Chicago became the latest victim of the bizarre Survivor: Pearl Islands resurrection twist, when he was voted out of the newly-merged Balboa Tribe, 6-4. He missed making the jury by one Tribal Council. And if you asked Savage, he could probably explain his demise in one word: "Lill!"

I caught up with Savage at the end of the Tribal Council staircase. He was just about to begin the Long Walk of Shame™. From the looks of it, he had a few things on his mind.

Being Jeff Probstovich: Andrew, how does it feel, knowing that pissant Jon is still in the game, and you're taking the Long Walk™

Andrew: I had a terrible sinking feeling when I had more votes than Jon but being the eternal optimist I was hoping that Lill came to her senses and sided with Morgan. In my opinion, Jon absolutely does not deserve to stay. Nor does Burton, Rupert, Sandra, Christa, Ryno, Darrah, or Tijuana. It should have been me ... me, me, me.

Being Jeff Probstovich: And what about Lillian? You gotta be feeling much hatred for the girl right about now?

Andrew: I was disappointed with Lillian and her decision to side with the Drakes. Lill, for the nine days after she was voted out, was on vacation. During those nine days the Morgan tribe practically killed themselves in engineering possibly one of the greatest comebacks in Survivor history against arguably the most powerful tribe in the history of Survivor.

Being Jeff Probstovich: Doesn't it drive you crazy, that nutty Lillian, still in the game? Losing fishing hooks left and right no doubt.

Andrew: On Day Nine right before Tribal Council I went up to Lill, gave her a hug, kiss on the cheek, told her that we loved her, that I was sorry about having to vote her out but that it wasn't personal, it was a strategy.

Being Jeff Probstovich: And what did Lillian tell you that her vote tonight was based on?

Andrew: I think she said -- blah-blah-blah it was a strategy. Whatever! The Morgan tribe practically killed themselves in engineering possibly one of the greatest comebacks in Survivor history against arguably the most powerful tribe in the history of Survivor. Lill in one simple vote washed away that entire effort. What kind of strategy is that?

Being Jeff Probstovich: Like you lazy bums really had a chance? No food left? No water? No shelter. Hello!

Andrew: Cool, thank you for the great comment.

Being Jeff Probstovich: So what's the story with you always wearing your coat to the Challenges and Tribal Councils? What is it, like your Superman cape? I thought it looked kinda goofy.

Andrew: [laughs] We're in the tropics, but it's cold at night. I was wearing my jacket because it was cold. Also, Darrah and Tijuana told me I looked studly in it. When I walked around Camp Morgan, I'd see them off in the distance pointing and commenting about me when I wore the coat.

Being Jeff Probstovich: (aside) They were probably laughing. (pause) OK. Moving right along. Savage, what did you really think about the twist?

Andrew: For me, Jeff, it wasn't so much a twist as a screw. A big ol' industrial grade screw. Thank you very much. Having said that, no one will convince me that Lill or Burton outwitted, outlasted or outplayed me because they were voted off before me fair and square.

Being Jeff Probstovich: If you were a betting man, would you put all of your money on Burton to run the tables?

Andrew: Burton is by nature very competitive. And I think he's a little pissed about being voted off the first time. Watch out suckers.

Being Jeff Probstovich: Savage, your issues -- real, imagined, or alleged -- with Lillian are well-documented. But what's the story with you and young Ryan, who you derisively labelled 'Skinny Ryan?' Didn't you know that hurt his feelings? What happened to compassionate leadership? How about going easy on the punk rocker from Tennessee ...Tennessee?

Andrew: The reality was that young Ryan was in completely over his head. What you didn't see is young Ryan for hours on end lying around the shelter sleeping. We would check on him occasionally and he'd say he felt that he was on his deathbed and only needed three or four hours more sleep. Young Ryan was voted out for his own good ... and ours too. And heck, he was skinny.

Being Jeff Probstovich: Speaking of skinny, Savage, what about Jon? Mister WWF Talent Manager in his head! You know, he was the Pearl Islands Puppetmaster? Every tribe needs one. Did you feel him manipulating you like a big, giant Geppetto?

Andrew: I think Jon has a bright future in an industry that requires a personality that pushes everyone's buttons and creates great controversy and attention. He is no doubt a master in those skills.

Being Jeff Probstovich: Savage, one last question, before we go. You dropped your pants, during that first challenge when Osten could no longer keep his Abercrombie & Fitch drawers up. Weren't you risking embarrassment, that the good old family jewels might get exposed on National TV, bringing millions of people face-to-face with your own anatomical deficiencies?

Andrew: My wife in an interview was asked about the infamous TV guide picture with the red cross blocking out my nudity and to her credit she replied that she was just happy that it was accurately portrayed as a large red x as opposed to a small red x. You know what they say about big hands and big feet?

Being Jeff Probstovich: Yes ... big gloves and big shoes.

Andrew: No, no, they say --

Being Jeff Probstovich: Savage, save it, because it's time to go. You don't have to leave, you just need to get the hell out of here.

Andrew: Don't I get a second chance? You gave Skinny Ryan a second chance!

Being Jeff Probstovich: Hit the road! Do it! Do it now!

He turned and left the game... uh... forever Who will be voted out next?

This is Being Jeff Probstovich.

Posted by Boycaught at November 12, 2003 08:32 AM | TrackBack