Michelle Tesauro, the 22-year-old student from Pittstown, New Jersey became the fifth person voted out of Survivor:Pearl Islands, essentially sealing her fate by refusing to sip a disgusting concoction of blood clams, squid, coconut juice and seawater. While that was the final straw that stirred her drink out of existence, it was really her failure to play politics in a highly political game that really sealed her doom.

We caught up to Michelle just before she began her long walk of shame out of the game forever. Moments earlier, she had just made her last statement to the camera, where we overheard her saying, "Regardless of all the politics, I wish I could've been here longer, just had more time to kick some butt and really get into the game." There was that word "politics" again. Didn't the silly little girl realize that Survivor is politics, and nothing but?

Being Jeff Probstovich: Hey, Michelle, a few more questions.

Michelle: Sure, J. Pro!

Being Jeff Probstovich: It seems like you're surprised by the "politics" you witnessed while in the game. Did you think that Survivor was just going to be some kind of beauty pageant ... without the beauty ... or the pageantry?

Michelle: By that I meant the whining and crying that was going on back and forth, all the nonsense that happened that wasn't shown on TV. Instead, I'm shown vomiting on national TV. It was disgusting! I tasted that shake all day long!

Being Jeff Probstovich: So are you saying that you think it's the editing that made the difference?

Michelle: Well, I don't know but I think the editing is kind of annoying. I wished that I had gotten edited as having kicked a lot more butt that I really did.

Being Jeff Probstovich: Speaking of kicking butt, if you had to fight Jon, who'd win?

Michelle: Jon's just incredibly weak, he proved that he was probably one of the weaker people, if not the weakest person, on the tribe and that made him very uneasy. I'd wipe the beach with his bony ass.

Being Jeff Probstovich: How about Balboa?

Michelle: He pretty much hung out on the hammock all day. I hope he's still alive in the next episode, but even that little tiny snake was stronger than Jon.

Being Jeff Probstovich: Jon thinks he's the "puppetmaster." Is he running the show in Drake?

Michelle: No way! Jon is Drake's toy. We used him for entertainment. He comes off as smart but he is not as smart as he says he is. But excuse me, I seem to have some strings dangling from my sleeves.

Being Jeff Probstovich: Didn't you have a plan to pretend to have trouble downing that smoothie?

Michelle: There was no real plan. So, I just got it over with as soon as possible, because it was pretty gross.

Being Jeff Probstovich: Do you think that was the final nail in the coffin?

Michelle: No, the final nail in my coffin was when Burton, oh my dear Burton, was voted off.

Being Jeff Probstovich: Did you have a crush on Burton?

Michelle: [laughs] Everybody loves Burton!

Being Jeff Probstovich: I thought it was "Everybody Loves Raymond."

Michelle: Raymond who?

Being Jeff Probstovich: Ray Romano. But, actually the ironic thing is that everybody actually hates Raymond. They all just butter him up before they roast him. Sort of like Rupert. Did you like Rupert?

Michelle: No! I think that everybody was so in love with Rupert that they forgot the reality of the situation which was that Rupert had the advantage because he'd talked to both tribes.

Being Jeff Probstovich: So everybody loves Rupert?

Michelle: No, everybody loves Burton

Being Jeff Probstovich: We just went over this, it's "Everybody loves Raymond."

Michelle: Well, I don't know Raymond, but I don't think I'd like hime. And I didn't exactly love Rupert either.

Being Jeff Probstovich: Wow, that's a strong reaction. We all thought that Rupert comes off smelling like a rose.

Michelle: [laughs] Weeeell, Rupert wasn't the best smelling guy I've ever been by. I had to share the mattress with him for a few nights. After a while -- like maybe 38 or 39 days -- you'd probably get used to it though.

Being Jeff Probstovich: Quid pro quo, though, do you think it was a treat for Rupert to have to talk to you while you were throwing up?

Michelle: [laughs] He didn't even give me a second to breathe! But we didn't have that much time, so I appreciate him comforting me even when I was throwing up.

Being Jeff Probstovich: Rawwwr!!! So what was the story between you and Christa? A little bit of a catfight situation brewing there?

Michelle: In the beginning, all the girls hung out for the first few days, but then things started to get tense between Christa and I. I had more fun hanging out with the guys than somebody who was just rude to me all the time. And you could tell that it made a her uneasy that it was so easy for me to hang out with the guys and have a good time rather than sit around and braid someone's greasy hair. Remember, this is Survivor: no deodorant, no soap, and definitely no shampoo.

Being Jeff Probstovich: Any regrets?

Michelle: It's really hard to sum up, so I have plenty to say about what went on with the show... maybe too much.

Being Jeff Probstovich: Michelle, it's time to go... again.

She turned and left the game forever. Who'll be voted out next?

This is Being Jeff Probstovich.

Posted by Boycaught at October 21, 2003 10:46 AM | TrackBack