The Curse of the Car Contiues

"I... am... so... pissed... off... right... now!" - Eric Cartman, South Park

Yes that was my general reaction to the Jenna over Matt victory on this sixth edition of Survivor. Oh there are plenty of reasons why she didn't deserve to win. Evidently, the Amazon jury doesn't think so with the exception of Butch.

My explanation was only one thing. The only way this atrocity could have possibly happened. Jenna is really a dark witch who possessed the entire jury into voting for her except for Butch whom Matt's fire gods protected because they are brothers in pyromania. This is why Butch was almost killed by a rogue branch courtesy of Madame Morasca herself. I am convinced this happened because is there any other possible way those fools would have handed the money to Jenna?

Yes.

I saw it coming a mile away and kept ignoring all of the signs because I did not want to accept Jenna's emminent victory. What were the signs you ask? Let me explain.

Sign #1: Male/Female Pattern

Ok. So this is a flimsy way of predicting the winner but consider this. There have been six seasons of Survivor and the pattern has held up of guy/girl. Many suggest this as proof of the game being rigged. In a way that might be true but not to the extent you would think. My guess is that Mark Burnett likes this pattern simply to appeal to the general audience more. Thus, in a season where a guy should win, Burnett picks a bunch of guys who could potentially win and fills the female side with women who are more interesting to watch than hard core gamers and vice versa. So far, this is the only way I can explain how this pattern has held up.

Sign #2:

This is another longshot way to tell, but it does help in the process of elimination. In every season of Survivor, in the headshots on the website, the winner is smiling showing teeth. Well, Brian has a really cracked-out smile but he is showing teeth nonetheless. After you've eliminated the gender, you can then eliminate those with their mouths shut.

Sign #3:

*eerie music plays* The Curse of The Car. When Matthew won that Ion, I wanted to scream. History shows that if you win the token vehicle, you do not win the game. Plain and simple. Now, curses can be broken so I had hope, but alas it was not meant to be.

The Nails in the Coffin:

Themes. This Amazonian season had several themes that carried on, pretty much, throughout the whole series. These are important during every season as we well know that Mr. Burnett likes to drop clues.

The first theme was sex. This show weighed so heavily on sex at various points that I forgot I wasn't on Temptation Island. Thus, of the final four this could have referred to Rob the nymphomaniac or Jenna the object of desire.

The second theme was unpredictability. Sometimes we were shocked by the boots, sometimes it was the bootees who were shocked, but this factor was played up quite a bit. Matthew was slaughtering the others in challenges and Rob was pulling all of the strings, thus this theme could not refer to either of them.

The third and deciding theme was the power of the Amazonian women. Jeff Probst made a point before the game even started about the strength of the Amazon woman. We also saw the women of Jaburu overcoming adversity both as a tribe and as individuals. This could only mean a woman would win it all.

Sadly, that woman had to be Jenna. :)

Oh well. I will return next season for Survivor Panama with witty commentary and hopefully much better boot predictions. Yeah right.

Later gators.