It's harder to resist than 'survive' Pearl Islands, TV's newest 'Survivor' site.
BY FRANCES ROBLES
frobles@herald.com

I was riding in a golf cart, pulling out of the Contadora Island airstrip -- you wouldn't really call it an airport -- and a young tourist asked my driver: ''Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to the town?'' He gave her a puzzled look. ''You're in the town,'' he said, pointing toward the island's gift shop.

''This is it?'' the young woman answered, with the distinct tone of a disgruntled consumer who wants her money back.

These are Panama's Pearl Islands, site of the Survivor series that debuted Sept. 18. This young lady clearly missed the point. You don't come to the Pearl Islands for the town. You come for clear turquoise waters, white sand between your toes, dolphins, sunshine and solitude.

But I didn't come for any of that.

I showed up at the archipelago off Panama's Pacific coast with a single purpose: to write about the spot CBS picked for its hit reality show. After tours in the South Pacific, the Australian Outback, Africa, Thailand and the Amazon, this is the closest they've come to the USA, the closest to a place actual American adventurers can visit without crossing too many time zones.

A novice at this, I called first to get an interview with the people who run the two hotels on one of the main islands, Contadora. I asked to see the tiny deserted islands, the kind Midwestern lawyers and scout leaders were marooned on for 39 days of filming.

''I see that as very, very difficult,'' said publicist Samir Carrasquilla, using Latin American code for ''ain't gonna happen.'' ''We regard the Survivor matter with utmost confidentiality. You'll have to speak to our lawyer.'' Bewildered by his secrecy, I moved on. I took the 20-minute flight from Panama City to Contadora, imagining myself stranded for weeks in the tropical jungle, wondering if the blue waters are always so bright. At the hotel, I mentioned the S-word.

''I can't talk about that,'' said Hidalgo, one of the hotel managers, referring me to their lawyer.

The folks at CBS really did a number on these Panamanians. They've got them treating the shooting of a reality TV show as a state secret, like when the Shah of Iran visited, or when Jimmy Carter was here negotiating the return of the Panama Canal.

Survivor is serious business in this Pacific paradise. And nobody, nobody is going to say anything about it. To make sure, they sent for lawyer Idania Cubas, who wrote her law school thesis on the islands.

Her studies went back to the 1500s, when explorer Vasco Nuņez de Balboa heard about a new sea and its rich pearls. He organized an expedition, slaying whatever pesky natives he found. The islands -- 140 of them if you count the spits of sand that pop up during low tide -- were repopulated five years later with slaves.

Las Islas Perlas had a handy, dual purpose: They were on the route conquistadors used on the way back to Spain, carrying the gold and silver they had plundered in Peru. Pirates used the Pearl Islands as a convenient place to pounce on the seamen and rob the ill-gotten treasures for themselves.

Contadora roughly translates to ''counter'' Spanish: It was where pirates tallied newfound spoils.

PERFECT ISLE

On the show, they've named the two competing teams Drake and Morgan, after Sir Francis Drake and buccaneer Henry Morgan.

''The perfect tropical island,'' says Survivor Executive Producer Mark Burnett. ``In terms of beauty and underwater marine life, it is the best spot we have visited.''

The fisherman's paradise is the site of a few mansions, a small neighborhood with the likes of Christian Dior and two main hotels, the pricier Punta Galeon and the all-inclusive Hotel Contadora. I picked the cheaper one, costing about $100 a night with food and drinks included.

While a few islands are like Contadora, with amenities to tame a production crew, most are totally desolate but reachable on rented boats.

While I wasn't fending for myself with nothing but a swimsuit and spear, I felt all alone. It came to me: I was alone. I had this mid-week, off-season beach to myself.

Cubas says the islands get about 20,000 visitors a year. But looking around at the lonely shore, I figure she fudged the numbers.

Telling me not to worry about scorpions and serpents (they're not poisonous), she sent captain Daniel to ferry me around.

''Are you going to ask me about Survivor, because I got this memo . . .'' Daniel said, explaining the $500 fine for blurting Survivor secrets. I assured him: I don't really care who won.

SECRET REVEALED

Daniel took me around on his boat, first to Mogo Mogo, where filming took place (a Survivor secret!).

Most of the islands are covered in tropical forests right up to the shore. Others have small stretches of beach that offer pristine views and privacy.

Some of the keys are the sites of tiny homes on stilts. Others have the names Pedro and Pablo -- Spaniards. One of them, I swear, is the shape of my old Toyota Celica.

I swam near a reef, delighting at the colorful marine life. I saw dolphins and deserted splendor.

The sand is white. The water is clear. The ocean is endless. But could I spend the week alone here?

''There are absolutely no dangers of any kind,'' he said, sounding like he was reading off that Survivor memo. The people from the show, he said, did not seem to fare so well.

''Two of the people from the show came out skiiiinnny and full of mosquito bites,'' Daniel said. ``And they started out chunky like you!''

Thanks, pal.

''It was horrible, horrible, horrible. I wouldn't have done it even for the $1 million,'' he said. ``Even some of them didn't make it.''

It appears Daniel, what with his 25 years ferrying tourists and fishermen and maybe even pirates in the Pacific, has not seen the show either. He does not realize that is the point: Even in paradise, they don't all make it.

Even still, I decided to try my own luck in the deserted wilderness, disembarking and walking off the beach into the Chapera island wilderness. Scary animal noises frightened me. Thorns scratched me. Unknown things bit me.

I figured worker's comp probably does not cover tropical diseases.

So I voted myself off the island.