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November 21st, 2008
QueerEye for the Survivor Tribes
Posted by: producer
August 29, 2003

Written by: QueerEye for Survivor

Another season of Survivor is upon us. CBS released the official cast list yesterday with much fanfare and speculation. This time, a new group of 16 strangers venture to the Pearl Islands of Panama to Outwit, Outplay and Outlast their fellow Survivors in an attempt to win the million dollar prize. Among the cast were several beefy young hunks and a few scantly-clad trollops. We're pretty sure that one of these young boys is most definitely part of "our" tribe.

After last season's successful plot twists, this season promises to add a few more interesting items to the game that will keep the castaways guessing. Not long after the cast was revealed, the first such twist was revealed.

"This started the game as if they had been shipwrecked," "Survivor" host Jeff Probst stated. "It changed everybody's perception of how the game was going to work, and it played out as the first challenge."

The 16 men and women were told to dress for a press conference the way they wanted to appear to the world, but when it was over, instead of allowing them to grab this season's latest beach wear before heading out to their islands, they were told the clothes on their back were the clothes they would be wearing for the game. Within seconds, they were heaving their bodies over the side of large cruising sail-boat.

The women wearing dresses and skirts need to re-read their "Worst Cast Scenario" guide to jumping off a sinking boat. Cross your legs, ladies!
In previous seasons, the castaways were allowed to bring a change of clothing, a bathing suit and one luxury item, but this time around, the group will be marooned with only the clothes on their back and will try to survive Panama's rainy season. Perhaps it was the previous season's experience with less-than-spectacular dressers that caused Survivor Producers to introduce such a twist, or maybe they were just feeling a bit punchy that day.

Either way you look at it, here are a few observations we wanted to note:

1. A Boy Scout uniform might be fun in the bedroom, but should never be your wardrobe of choice for a press conference.

2. We were impressed with several of the men who took the time to dress it up a little bit with a shirt and tie. We would have preferred a casual summer suit for the Panamanian rainy season, something in white linen or off-white would have looked fabulous.

3. Pearls on the Pearl Islands? We're still out on that one, but we do respect this mother of two's fashion sense to wear 3/4 length sleeves. It says I'm professional, but still hip.

4. Nicole, we realize that massage therapists don't exactly rake in the big money, but darling, let's stay away from the strap-less dresses.

5. Osten Taylor, the 27 year-old trade manager looked downright yummy. His dark blue button-up against his smooth black skin made us screaming for more.

6. Rupert Boneham's tie-died shirt might be good for the mean streets of Indianapolis, Indiana, but the beaches of Panama? We'll take a pass on that one ... unless there is a lot of Ganja being passed around.

That's all we have for this weeks fasion critique. From the looks of some of the promo shots, we're going to have our jobs cut out for us this season.
Until next time, be careful how you dress everyday, you never know when you'll be thrust over the side of a boat in the middle of the Panamanian waters.

Posted by producer at August 29, 2003 09:36 AM



Comments

HAHAHAHA! Woohoo! Good one, whoever writes these columns!

Posted by: David at September 4, 2003 04:20 PM

i think the last survisor episodes is very oughful. there must be a consideration of the thing that the survivor would brought. that they can bring a two or three piece of cloth of their choice. i hope the next survivor will be on asia again maybe on the islands of Okinawa in Japan or in China that's really have a very rich culture

Posted by: Pee-Jay Opinion at September 24, 2003 03:49 AM

I think Rupert should come back. He was the best. And to everyone that backstabbed Rupert shame on you because you just lost the best player. And to Lil she is one of the biggest bacstabbers because she was his friend and she turned on him how mean is that. And to jon i hate you because of how mean you were to Rupert. Rupert rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Angela at November 20, 2003 08:51 PM

Rupert is the BOMBB!!!!!!!!!!!!! He should have won because he is the BEST player ever out of all the survivor's i've seen and I want to kno his address so i can write him to tell him hes the bomb and EVERYONE WHO VOTED HIM OFF should not win because they will have NO FOOD and they didnt figure that out and RUPERT SHOULD GO BAC KON THE SHOW because he is the best ever and RUPERT ALL THE WAY!!!!!! GO RUPERT!!!!!!

Posted by: Cherie at November 20, 2003 09:03 PM

WE LOVE YOU RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!! And we want ur address so we can send you letters saying you are the bomb. And so we can get your autograph. GO RUPERT ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!

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