By MANUEL MENDOZA / The Dallas Morning News

Making it into the National Enquirer is not usually a point of pride. But Daniel Lue, the Houston accountant who made an early exit from Survivor: The Amazon, couldn't be more thrilled. He appeared in last week's edition, "the page just before the Ben and J. Lo story," he writes in an e-mail.

Mr. Lue, 27, is promoting a 2004 calendar of beefcake shots, available for $12.95 plus $3 shipping and handling at his new Web site, www.danlue.com. Oh, so that's why he's so happy. We feel used.

Dan was the guy, you may remember, who repeatedly fell off the balance beam during the first challenge, allowing the girls to win immunity. That's Survivor talk for he messed up. But he seems to have a sense of humor about it.

"Where's the love?" he asks, referring to a CBS star party held last month at Hollywood's Lucky Strikes, with Amazon winner Jenna Morasca, her ally Heidi Strobel and their nemesis/now-friend Rob Cesternino in attendance. Dan's invite somehow got lost in the mail.

Naturally, he's planning to move to Los Angeles in October to pursue acting. "I need to strike while the iron is hot," he says. "Our shelf life as Survivors is short."

Cut! That's a wrap: The Osbournes' portrayal of foul-mouthed family dysfunction has always seemed like a contrivance. Then, in its second-season finale, the show played with the idea that the whole shebang is scripted. It was obvious that Jack's killing of the family dog Minnie was faked even before the cameras turned on the cast and crew laughing it up afterward. But what about the shots of Ozzy doing repeated takes of his signature line from the first season: "I love you more than life itself, but you're all [expletive] mad"? MTV, having it both ways as usual, is mum.

Partner benefits: Did anybody notice that Pat Buchanan sat out last week's interview with the Fab Five from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, leaving the duties to his Buchanan and Press partner Bill Press? Bawk, bawk bawk bawk, bawk.

Dallas gets real: The 'plex is prime stomping grounds for reality casting calls. The latest is NBC's Race to the Altar, a cross between Fear Factor and The Newlywed Game. So far, the show's top "power couple" – they decide who gets kicked off each week – has been Dallas' Susan Byrom and Coyt Johnston. The engaged pairs are competing for a dream wedding.

Reality Bites is an occasional look at developments in the world of reality TV.